Will Packwood's Rating:

Starring: Kirsty Waay, Kimberly Kyle, Natalie, Kelsey Kane, Darien, Julian St. Jox, Mr. Marcus, Pierre.

The camera work could make you seasick at times. In many of the zoom-ins, the picture goes out of the focus because the cameraman goes in too close too fast. It's not a first rate production. Maybe Jon should buy the guy who filmed this glasses. In style, I'd call this production "pseudo-gonzo" porn. These are supposed to be true stories - like the made for TV movies they should use the disclaimer - "Base (however loosely)on a true story. "

Not bad. There are no beauty queens in this production, in fact several of the girls are what Howard Stern refers to as "Butterfaces" - everything looks good except their faces.
There are five sex scenes in this and I'll recap each one briefly for you.

In scene one, Jon Dough is sitting on a chair "talkin' wigger trash" with Kim Kyle at his feet and two black guys sitting across the room from them on the couch. Now Kim has a decent body, well-toned (looks like she works out) and tight. Her face isn't bad, but she's kind of hard looking. Not like Arianne, who looks and talks like an ugly guy with a cunt, but just not feminine, if you know what I mean. At any rate, Dough is talking "black" and the brothers are laughing at him. KK is sitting there playing with her cooch and Mr. Marcus takes her to the bedroom where he has her taste his chocolate stick, reams her both front and rear and shoots a load of spunk into her mouth and across her face. Before she can leave the room, the second brother walks in and repeats the procedure with her, giving her yet another rectal reaming and spattering her mug with chocolate sauce. Then Dough-boy swoops in for sloppy thirds. This girl does it all and for a third time repeats the process almost to the letter, only this time with a longer anal dose of Dough dick. Eventually, she takes yet a third face plasterin' - the most generous of the three - and greedily licks up every drop. When Dough returns to the living room the two black dudes mug him and inexplicably "steal" cum covered Kimberly - proving, I suppose, the thieves are often times not all that bright.

Next up is Asian chick named Darian. She's not bad looking and not very big. The claim on the box is that this is the only X-rated stuff she's ever done. That's possible, I don't remember ever seeing her before, but with ten-zillion x-rated tapes coming out each year who knows? She is supposed to be sleeping as the scene opens, but her twat is left conveniently exposed and sticking out from under the covers. Dough-boy goes to work on her with his fingers and eventually she wakes up - sort of. He pops her pussy (but not her hinny) and then delivers a load of creme-ala-Dough to her cte little face. Decent scene, more erotic than the first, but not as "dirty. "

The third scene is "at the races. " Big time "Butterface" Kirsty Waay take on Steve St. Croix and out star, J. D. after publicly flashing her shaved down cockpit to the boys and the crowd at the track. They take turns pounding this homely slut's holes before the deliver a double-barreled dose of badly needed beauty creme to her big nosed kisser. This would probably have been hotter scene if they had put a bag over her head with a picture of Tabitha Stevens's picture on it.

In the nest installment Jon gets new neighbors. A Sam Kinison look alike guy and a stocky, but solidly built looking brunette named Natalie. This girl is thick through the middle, but she's not really a turn off, she just has "big" genes. She looks like the kind of chick you meet in a bar late night after downing a few, and, in your semi-sober state, looks hot. So you take her back to your place and give her the high hard one. The next morning, you see her naked in the light of day and wonder how she gained 20 pounds over night! At any rate "Sam" leaves and Dough does his short, portly bitch. No facial here, he cums on her chest. This scene's nothing to get overly excited about, but it's not terrible either.

In the last scene Kelsey Kane, who may be the best lookig bimbo in this whole feature (except perhaps for the hideous tattoo she tries to hide on the side of her ass), wakes up with a guy who looks like he just got off the boat. She goes into the bathroom and plays with herself - a smart move with such a loser in the bed - but then returns to the bedroom, where she reluctantly molests her co-star. It's evident from the beginning that she's not into this bloated grease ball, but she dutifully goes down on him. Unfortunately, he forgot to take his Viagra and can't seem to make his pin stand at attention. Eventually, he delivers a half-hearted, piss hard-on fuck and then, I think, the script (Dough wrote and directed this mess- he must have been on weed that day) calls for her to take a facial - but she can't seem to mild one out of her co-star, who once again "goes soft" on her. Kind of a wasted opportunity, I think I would have enjoyed seeing this chick take a froth filled, facial dousing from JD or another porno stud.

There were some good anal reamings and facials in this video and with the exception of the last scenes - the performances were spirited.

The scarcity of hot chicks. These were all female second and third stringers. None of the actresses stand out physically. While the sex was indeed very dirty at times, especially Kimberly Kyle's, the lack of great looking gash detracted from the video's appeal.

I'd give it a 5 - higher if can focus just on the girl's bodies.

Posted By Will Packwood, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/12/06 1:58 PM